Parenting in 2024

Being a mother in 2024 is no small feat. We live in the United States, which is one of nine countries worldwide with no paid family leave (noceilings.org/maternal-leave). The cost of everything is going up. If we work to help support our families we practically need to enroll in childcare before we even know we are pregnant due to a shortage of childcare and lengthy waitlists everywhere. If we can find childcare we struggle with constantly increasing prices. Many mothers understandably question whether working is even a sound financial decision with all this pressure.

We just recently moved past the pandemic, in which many mothers were expected to juggle work, childcare, and homeschooling simultaneously. Those pregnant or welcoming a new child during the pandemic may have held the constant fear of how to keep their family safe and healthy with a new virus that we knew nothing about, only that it put pregnant women at high risk of health complications. We overcame this trauma only to face a world with constant economic challenges.

We are constantly under pressure to do more with less. Is it a wonder we are feeling stressed and overwhelmed? We must work harder to provide for our families financially, but also be flexible to be available for our children because the support needed for new parents often does not exist. Since the pandemic there has been a constant need to prove ourselves, to prove we can still be productive despite all the chaos that surrounds us. We as parents are set up for failure, because these standards are near impossible to reach. We compare mothers to Wonder Women, and rightfully so! But it also shows our expectations of mothers these days are so high that we are expected to rival superheroes!

A message that new parents don’t hear nearly enough is that It’s OK if we’re not these perfect superhumans. It’s OK if we don’t meet the high standards that our society sets for parents, while the world feels like it’s falling apart around us. It takes a village and can be a challenge when that village is not there. It’s OK to take a moment to evaluate if the standards we are setting for ourselves are too high. It’s OK to not be OK. It’s OK to seek out support if we are struggling.

So when times are hard, practice some self compassion. Take some time to recognize all that you have accomplished with a world that often feels like it’s on fire. Take a moment to challenge the negative self-talk that you’re not enough. Know that it’s OK to just do our best everyday, and that alone is worthy of acknowledgement.