Five Tips for Going from One Child to Two
Adding another member to your family is an exciting time! But knowing what to expect the second time around can be a blessing and a curse. You have more baby experience now, but realizing that you will be going through that newborn phase with another child needing your attention at the same time can feel daunting.
I became pregnant with my daughter when my son was 19 months old, and I remember feeling overwhelmed by the idea of healing my body, bonding with my newborn, entertaining and keeping up with my toddler, and keeping some semblance of an organized household. But six months into being a mom of two, the fog has started to lift, and I am able to look back on the early days with humor and fondness.
Having just been through it myself, here are my five tips for a successful transition from one to two:
Set up a gift exchange.
Pick a gift “from the baby” to give to your older child. Pick something that they are really interested in, and preferably a toy that they can play with immediately and independently when you get home. You will need some time to unpack a little bit, take a shower, and get settled, so something that will hold their interest while you do what you need to do. We chose a set of magnet tile blocks, and they are still one of my son’s favorite toys to this day. You can also let your older child pick out a gift for the baby as well. Something small but meaningful works great- it can even be homemade!
Establish and maintain routines.
As a former kindergarten teacher, I live and die by routines. Bringing home a new baby will rock your older child's world, and they will be craving consistency. Make it a point to create predictable routines around the day’s big transitions (mealtimes, bath, bedtime, etc.) before the baby arrives so that they recognize that things are still the same. You might even print out some pictures for your child to reference the order of events during one of these transitions if you find that there is a particularly difficult time of day for your family.
Create a quiet plan.
Your older child is used to having the run of the house, so getting them to be quiet and calm every hour so that you can get your baby fed and asleep is not a simple task. Collect some toys or activities that only come out at quiet time. Pick things that are open-ended so that they will hold your child’s attention for longer. And if all else fails, provide a “special” snack- one that you know your child will love and quietly eat next to you- so that you can get your job done.
Utilize thoughtful screen time as a tool for you.
My master’s degree is in educational technology, and while I know it can be a controversial topic, I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with allowing some high-quality shows and apps in my house. There is so much wonderful, gentle, educational media out there today. Be discerning about what feels right to you, and pick the times that give you the most bang for your buck (ie. the dreaded “witching hour”).
Embrace the chaos.
If there is one thing I have learned from being a parent and something that I remind myself of every day, it’s that everything is temporary. The painful, challenging phases will end. And the sweet, heart-exploding moments don’t last either. Finding humor and a strong support person helps. Lots of deep breathing and bowls of ice cream. You’ve got this!
What are the best pieces of advice that you would have for a new parent of two? Comment below and give some encouragement!
